Post 5: Spoken Word Analysis

My Darling Sara 
I will be analyzing the spoken word piece “My darling Sara” by Shane Koyczan.

            The poet repeats several lines throughout the work, creating with them themes that are woven together in the end. For example:

“I’m Trying”

“My darling Sara”

“So I do my best impression…”

            Repeating these words with the same rhythm and pauses each time adds to the affect and separates ideas into verses of sorts. Ending with the line “I tried”, tied several of the themes together and concluded the piece well.

            The spoken word artist carries the same structure of rhythm throughout the performance. Looking at the words of the piece typed out you can visually see the verses follow the same form, with the same general number of syllables. This structure and similarity in the verses is what creates the effective rhythm.

             The artist builds intensity by quickening the pace and shortening the pauses until the words form one long sentence at which point he cuts off the flow with a simple sentence and a long pause.

            Instead of raising his voice to stress important sentences, a common practice in regular speech, he actually does the opposite. Koyczan says the significant lines slowly and with long pauses before and after, often directly following a long verse of unbroken lines. In a strange way this is much more effective than shouting these lines as at these points his voice carries the tone of someone who is remembering and attempting to control an emotion.

            This effect can be heard when Koyczan pauses after the sentence ‘My darling Sara’ each time and this lets the audience know its importance and the weight that the words carry in comparison to the rest of the work.

            Within the piece, Koyczan rarely ends a sentence but rather connects multiple without pause. The subject of the sentence shifts several times, using words or phrases as links between what might have been two sentences or three sentences in a written work.

            This spoken word poem displays Koyczan’s style well as it has his signature continuous sentences, heavy pauses and the simultaneous build up of speed and intensity that are heard in his other works.

            I could dissect the effectiveness of each sentence and pause in the piece but I think to understand why spoken word works the way it does you just have to hear it. And no amount of analysis could compare to simply listening to it.

Dusk Warriors

We passed the setting sun

Nothing gold can stay

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

When the stars threw down their spears,

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill

Paradise Poem

Papers cover watermarked walls

Quiet air

Into scarlet thoughts I fall

Sitting there

Roll into the sea of ink

Sunlight

Nothing to do but think

Long nights

Existing in infinite places

Sore fingers

Loving a thousand faces

Feeling lingers  

Not a place
Or line

Not an instant in time

Paradise 

Short Story Reflections

For my own short story analysis I did The Sound of Thunder. The main character Mr. Eckles was very memorable. While his character is not admirable the author developed him in such a way that he appeared very human, faults and all. As opposed to the typical brave and confident main character you often see in teenage literature, Eckles panics and selfishly puts his companions in danger. I think that in writing its very easy to create a hero but very difficult to create a human. Which is likely why I have always enjoyed characters that are developed to the point of being irritating, for example Holden of Catcher in the Rye. After writing my own short story I have a greater appreciation for the author of the Sound of Thunder as it proves to be very difficult to construct a convincing character in a short story and still provide an engaging plot.

            The most challenging aspect of writing the story was the balance between developing plot and character within such as short space. I’ve always appreciated writers who could simultaneously construct a plot, describe setting and create a rounded character.

            I prefer short stories that build up to a point in which something is revealed and the entire plot makes sense. This is something I tried to emulate in my own story. I found the setting and relationships in The Lottery effective for this type of plot line so I used aspects of it in my own short story.

            I guess I might say that I am indifferent to my short story. I can’t say I like it, but it’s also not the worst short story I’ve ever written. Had I the chance I would have liked to build up the relationships between the villagers and in doing so depict Millie as a leader in her community that people depend on. The central character Millie was supposed to be a strong woman that holds her crumbling family up but is also silently suffering. I don’t think Millie’s own fear transferred in the story as I wanted it to and so her character appears rather flat.

            Apart from character development, I would also work on integrating description in the plot. I sort of laid the description on thick in the beginning in order to set up atmosphere but then I left other areas very sparse. One part in particular was the point at which the villagers are standing waiting for the soldiers to come around the corner. I had intended to build up tension there but knowing that it would be the most difficult part to write I left to last, as I have a bad habit of doing. That paragraph ended up getting shortchanged as I ran out of time and ended up throwing in a few lines that just barely functional.

            I don’t often complete a short story as most of mine are abandoned in the drafting stage. Polishing and reworking stories proves to be more difficult than actually writing it in the first place. I’ve found that I learn a lot more about writing when I am forced to follow the process through to the end, as in this class.